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    Roxanne's Bits And Bobs Collection

    Roxanne
    Roxanne
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    Female
    Number of posts : 257
    Age : 30
    Location : Wales, UK
    Registration date : 2008-10-15

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    Post by Roxanne Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:14 pm

    Hey there guys!

    I decided it was time I opened a thread and wrote a bit more than I do - obviously updating this thing regularly while my exams are on is going to be hard but you should see a lot more from me once they are over.

    You see, I can write but longer pieces tend to flunk half way through and fail miserably. I tend to stick to shorter pieces like short stories (which usually are very short) and descriptions. I decided to make a thread to show off a few of my short pieces and get some feedback. I'll also post some of my contest entries here as the contests come around. ^~^


    Archive

    [Fireworks]


    Last edited by Roxanne on Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:45 pm; edited 2 times in total
    Roxanne
    Roxanne
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    Number of posts : 257
    Age : 30
    Location : Wales, UK
    Registration date : 2008-10-15

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    Post by Roxanne Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:45 pm

    Note: This is the slightly edited version of my entry for the November Writing Contest. I took into consideration Chirstina's point and hopefully this is a bit better than my entry even thought it's almost the same thing. XP

    Fireworks

    Ivy moved quickly into the house hoping not to be caught. She had borrowed Melody’s bag again. Melody flicked on the light in the hallway revealing that she had been waiting for sometime for Ivy to come home with her bag. She shrieked two octaves higher than usual as she took off. “You used my bag without asking.... again!”

    “You weren’t here for me to ask,” Ivy stated simply. She emptied the bag out and threw it to Melody. Melody caught it but didn’t seem satisfied.

    “So, that’s it, you think it’s okay for you to borrow my bag without asking just because I’m not here!” she was still shrieking slightly. Ivy nodded and Melody’s face turned a bright red she was ready to explode... any second now... Melody screamed as loud as she could as she stormed up to Ivy and yanked on her hair bobble pulling out some of her hair in the process.

    “Ouch! You little…” Ivy yelled. Ivy took off similarly to Melody, like a firework. The two girls yelled and screamed at each other. The explosion from the two girls could be heard for a few miles around. As the colorful sparkles trickle down both their cheeks the display came to and end.
    Christina
    Christina
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    Registration date : 2008-10-17

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    Post by Christina Sun Dec 07, 2008 5:36 pm

    I like that version much better Roxanne Smile glad you took my comments to heart

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