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    June's Writing Contest!

    Roxanne
    Roxanne
    Admin


    Female
    Number of posts : 257
    Age : 30
    Location : Wales, UK
    Registration date : 2008-10-15

    June's Writing Contest! Empty June's Writing Contest!

    Post by Roxanne Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:56 am

    This contest will happen every other month. The next contest will be in August.


    ***It is improtant you re-read this as some changes have been made to the contest***

    [Contest]

    I’m going to give you an image, theme, song or poem and you have write a story, description, poem or song that has something to do with what I give you.

    If I gave the theme of magic, you could write a story or description about a witch or wizard.

    Following my realisation one of the groups of which you were to be judged on seemed too similar to another, I have changed them. The goal of your writing is to be original and creative. You will also be judged on your writing skills.

    Originality ~ Be different, be unique. Try writing something that you normally wouldn't think of.
    Creativity ~ Description, Dialogue, Unique Characters etc.
    Writing Skills ~ Grammar, Punctuation etc.

    Each one will be judged with a score out of 5.

    [Winning And Participating]

    Everyone who participates will receive points. Here are the points that you will receive:-

    Winner – 24 Points
    2nd Place – 18 Points
    3rd Place – 12 Points
    Participating – 6 Points

    If you win and receive winning points, you will not receive participating points as well.

    Out of the top three pieces, members will be able to vote on their favourite. The piece that gets the most votes will be in the following months newsletter with a mini-interview from the member.

    [Entering]

    To enter, simply post your story, description, poem, or song in this thread. The judge(s) will judge and if there is a tie members will get to vote.

    [Rules]

    1. If I give you a poem to base your writing piece around you cannot enter a poem. The same applies for a song.

    2. For stories and descriptions, the minimum word count is 90. [Note: Each contest will have the word count increased by ten until we reach a point in between 100 -150 words.]

    3. You can have a maximum of three entries. You can edit and swap your entries for other entries up until the deadline.

    4. Members can C&C on all the entries submitted. Please make it constructive: “It’s good” and “It’s sucks” are not allowed. “It’s good but your spelling needs some work” and comments similar to that are allowed.

    5. Have Fun!


    For this contest I'm going to give you two things just to make sure someone can find something to write about. You can include both or just one but remember you can't write a song if you're using the song as the given thing.

    ~ Theme: Love
    ~ [[Following, problems with every Youtube video I link to [i.e. they eventually get deleted because of copyright] I'm only going to provide the artist and name of the song so you can look it up yourselves.]] [PG-13 Mild Swearing] Lady Gaga - Paper Gangsta

    Enjoy ^^
    Red Starlight
    Red Starlight
    Page


    Male
    Number of posts : 4
    Age : 31
    Location : Michigan.
    Registration date : 2008-10-26

    June's Writing Contest! Empty Re: June's Writing Contest!

    Post by Red Starlight Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:17 pm

    Alright, here's my entry.
    He loved her, he had for a long time. He saw her all the time. At school, in the hallways, on his street, in his dreams, everywhere. But he wasn't the only one that loved her. His former best friend, her current boyfriend. apparently loved her more than he ever would. According to him, it was never meant to be.
    At parties, she was always at the back of the room, watching. Her boyfriend was always at the front, talking, flirting, and kissing every girl in sight. One day, he worked up the courage.
    "Hey" He said to her one day, at a party. "You know, I've liked you for a long time. Want to go out?"
    "Sorry." She said. "I have.... a boyfriend. I have to be loyal."
    "Apparently, it's for both of you." He told her "He's entering Seven minutes in heaven."
    They watched as her boyfriend an 5 other girls entered the closet. He saw her wince in emotional pain.
    7 minutes later, they watched as the girls were grabbing at his clothes, and were kissing him like crazy.
    He talked to his friend, and walked over to his girlfriend and his former friend in a drunken stupor.
    "HEY!" He yelled at her not so secret admirer"I *hiccup* heard you've been hittin on my girl. Haven't you ever head of loyalty?!?"
    He just stared at him.
    "If you won't love her, why can't anyone else?" He asked her boyfriend
    "OH SHUT UP. She loves me and my lifestyle. Right baby?" He then grabbed her in an aggressive headlock
    "I......Can't.......Breathe....."She said, muffled. She then began to cry , not joking tears or happy tears but sad, I hate my life kind of tears.
    He just couldn't take it anymore. He slugged her boyfriend with the fierceness of a lion. The drunk went down, and didn't get up, knocked out.
    "Thank you..." The girl said
    "No problem." He replied. "Now, would you like to go out?"
    "I've been waiting a long time for you to say that."
    And with that, they danced to Paper Gangsta by Lady GaGa, and walked home, hugging and holding hands.
    The reason this story has no named characters is because this story is for all of the people out there that love someone but is dating someone who doesn't treat them right.
    So send this to 8 other people, and your true love will ask you out
    Thank you.
    THE END
    Roxanne
    Roxanne
    Admin


    Female
    Number of posts : 257
    Age : 30
    Location : Wales, UK
    Registration date : 2008-10-15

    June's Writing Contest! Empty Re: June's Writing Contest!

    Post by Roxanne Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:11 pm

    Tee hee, I love this!

    However...

    Red Starlight wrote:"HEY!" He yelled at her not so secret admirer"I *hiccup* heard you've been hittin on my girl. Haven't you ever head of loyalty?!?"

    Instead of using *'s to indicate the character hiccuping during the conversation, I would suggest writing something along the lines of:

    - He hiccuped as he spoke.

    Either before or after his dialogue.

    That or you could do something like this:

    "I heard," he hiccuped and then continued to talk. "you've been hitting on my girl...."

    This gives readers a better discription and it looks better on the page. ^^

    Other than that, I can't see anything else that could improve the entry at the moment.



    My Entry ::



    She stood in the centre of the stage in her blue skinny flare jeans and baggy blue top. The effect was desirable – the skinny flare jeans assuring everyone she was skinny and the blue top making her look a little less anorexic. Had she been taller she would have been anorexic but for her height, 5ft 3, she was ideal. Her long blonde hair curled inward a little at the end framing her face perfectly. She stood around half a metre from the microphone just waiting.

    The stage was in utter darkness. There was music playing as a short film played on the wall behind her. It flashed through the hopeful faces of the band, then, when the music picked up a little, it showed a few short clips of the band practicing with enthusiasm that some could only dream they had. Once the film had finished and the music stopped playing, the spotlights flickered on quickly lighting up the members of the band and they started playing their re-make of the Veronicas’ song Untouched almost instantly.

    She looked down at him briefly to see him smiling up at her. Her heart fluttered a little and she faltered – once, twice, three times. She looked up at the ceiling and concentrated on the song and her singing for a few moments before focusing on the judges and keeping eye contact with them as she sang.

    The band finished and cleared the stage quickly so that the next band could take their place. Now, all they had to do was wait. They stood at the back of the room pacing – she felt as if every band member was cursing her in their minds. She cursed herself whenever she felt the band had done better then them. She sighed and slumped against the wall.

    “We are now going to announce the winners,” one of the judges spoke a few minutes after the last band had left the stage. Every band member jumped to their feet to listen carefully. “In last place… Excalibur Zero.” There were several cheers and boos. “In third place… Northern Mark.” She sighed a sigh of relief. “In second place…” She was sure this was going to be them. “The Poisonous Trio.” She felt as if she might faint. “In first place… the school official band… the Red Dragons!” She tumbled a little but was caught by someone behind her.

    “No way!” she muttered. They had come first place despite her slip up.

    “Are you okay?” he asked. She looked around slowly to see him holding her inches off the ground. She got to her feet and turned around properly. She nodded in response. “You were great you know.” She smiled.

    “Thanks,” she mumbled. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek before she went to celebrate with her band members.

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